guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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