Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
There's even glitter on my cock...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
