She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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