Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
