I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The Olympian is in my bed
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
