What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
