i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
