So drunk its hurt
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
