Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I believe in your delicious
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
