I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
