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its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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