had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
smell my finger.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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