You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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