Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
