four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
