Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
