Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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