im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
