My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Bring me that man meat
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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