i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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