i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
