i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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