Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This is my life. Enjoy the view
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
