when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
