I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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