I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
