You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
