What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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