If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
