She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it glows. i had to have it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
