O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
So. Much. Porn.
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