"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
