Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
