I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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