he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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