can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
