Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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