She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
