Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
do herpes really smell.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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