I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
