i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
