Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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