i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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