bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
