After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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