Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
