I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
