bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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