I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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