he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
