did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
