he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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