you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
