u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
