then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
